Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
