Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
