One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
