Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
