end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize