he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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