I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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