Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
