the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
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Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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