eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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