need another drink. this is the easiest way
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
