at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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