Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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