Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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