i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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