yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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