at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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