Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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