Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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