Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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