My first STD was from a foam party
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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