Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
