so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
