You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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