just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize