Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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