I hope mine doesn't look like that
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
