Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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