I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize