Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
