They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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