Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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