not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
