I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
