Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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