they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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