I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize