bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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