I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
