Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Acid is not a monday night drug

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking

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(615): View more from Tennessee

A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.

(1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

Totally acceptable.

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(88): View more from

As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.

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(727): View more from Florida

So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?

(303): View more from Colorado

We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.

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(916): View more from California

You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs

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