I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
