Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
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