Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize