just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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