spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
