I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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