I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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