It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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