they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
