she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize