Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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