my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm like, not good at living.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
