I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
