it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just tell him i said nine months
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
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he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
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Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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