Already got asked if we're dating
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
