got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
