Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
