I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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